Tilting the Hourglass
by jewishushanka
Summary: In middle school, Craig decided it was finally time to come out, but the reactions he received isn't what he expected. (Prequel/Side Story of my other fic There's No Way Getting Out.)
1. Chapter 1

Wearing a hat during school hours wasn't allowed but Craig Tucker broke that rule whenever he attended. After the first two weeks, the teachers eventually gave up and Craig was able to wear his favourite blue chullo with no problem. Seeing the sixth grader walk around in the hat soon caused a scene for other middle schoolers to follow suit which only resulted in the rule to be forgotten all together.

Walking into school after being on winter break, Craig took notice of multiple students wearing their very own hats. He liked the idea of no longer getting in trouble for his chullo but not that he unintentionally started a fad. Craig never wanted to be one of "those" kids.

To his left the noirette noticed Kenny McCormick leaning against a locker talking to Stan Marsh. The blonde laughed and Stan shoved him in the shoulder resulting in Kenny staggering on his feet a bit. Stan wore his letterman jacket which all the other football players could be seen prancing around in even though football season has been over for months. Craig glanced at the raven haired boy's last name sprawled across the back and he imagined running his index finger over the letters, tracing them over and over again. He thought Stan was completely stupid for wearing the jacket like the rest of his teammates, but at the same time - Craig kind of admired it.

A hand suddenly slapped Craig on the shoulder and the pre-teen couldn't help but let out a yelp, cursing loudly immediately afterwards. Turning around he came face-to-face with Clyde Donovan, who had a cheeky grin plastered upon his features and wore his very own letterman jacket. He started chuckling lightly and Craig only narrowed his eyes at the boy.

"Whoa, okay." Scratching the back of his head, Clyde backed up a step. "Sorry Craig."

The noirette let out a small sigh. "Just don't sneak up on me again, Donovan."

"Gotcha. Say, you mind going to my locker with me before heading to class?"

Of course Craig didn't mind. He didn't like walking to class alone. But Craig didn't admit that to the brunette, instead he simply followed the other to his locker which just so happened to be located in the same line as Stan Marsh... who was still chatting it up with Kenny. Craig tried his best not to play any attention to the duo - focusing on the boy that started blankly in his locker more than likely trying to remember why he went there in the first place. The noirette picked up on Kenny saying the word 'blowjob' and suddenly his interest spiked. Tuning his full attention on the blonde, Craig listened as Kenny continued in full detail about receiving the sexual act from Tammy Warner. The girl was two grades above the sixth graders but apparently that meant nothing to Kenny.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Stan finally spoke up. "Dude, why the hell are you telling me all this? I couldn't care less."

Kenny smiled widely. "Because you're the only one who will listen."

"Right." Slamming his locker shut, Stan looked over to where Clyde and Craig stood. The noirette in the chullo noticed a faint pink tint hit Stan's cheeks. "Oh hey Clyde."

It was obvious Stan intentionally ignored Craig, it was something the sixth grader dealt with on various occasions. Instead of throwing a fit about it like some people would do, Craig simply stared coldly at the boy in the letterman jacket then turned to the blonde beside him and slightly waved.

"Hey Craig... you look cute today."

He couldn't tell if it were mockery or Kenny was actually telling the truth. But it caused Craig to look down at his apparel and take in the galaxy sweater and simple black skinny jeans. Underneath the somewhat baggy sweater, Craig noticed a small amount of curves peeking through. Cursing mentally, he went to shake the garment in attempt to hide them. Then the noirette felt to make sure all his hair was successfully hidden behind his chullo. Most of the strands that normally reached the mid-section of his back were safely pulled back into a sloppy bun and tucked away underneath. The only hair still visible were the fringe like bangs Craig cut during summer break.

He wanted to thank the blonde but couldn't find it within himself to do so. So instead Craig quickly grabbed Clyde's hand, pulling him along their first period class.

* * *

Stan Marsh was beginning to show signs of some sort of sleeping disorder and the kids were already noticing. In the back of the classroom of Basic Science, Craig watched as the raven noirette in the letterman jacket slowly slumped in his seat with his head falling forward. To his left, Stan's best friend, Kyle Broflovski, nudged him in the shoulder and immediately Stan shot up readjusting his position. It struck Craig as odd how the jock was suddenly having issues with sleep but he only assumed it was due to him not getting enough at night.

Craig focused on the back of Stan's head during the entire class period instead of paying attention to the teacher drone on about how simple genetics worked. He found interest in counting each time Stan began to nod off and how Kyle Broflovski woke his friend up each time. If it were Craig, he may have let the boy sleep. It definitely looked as though he needed it. But at the same time... Craig thought it was funny watching Stan be awaken each time and the obvious discomfort that settled in his body language.

By the time class was over, Craig took it within himself to gather his supplies as quickly as possible and exit the classroom. But the second Craig came up to where Stan's desk was with the raven haired boy still in location, the messenger bag strapped to his side knocked into Stan, resulting in the boy stumbling forward. The desk scooted across the tile floor and whatever remaining students in the room all turned to look at the two noirettes. Stan's hands smacked the surface of the desk to catch himself from completely falling, and all Craig did was stare in fear clutching onto his bag that caused the scene. With Stan in the semi-bent over position he was in, Craig felt a blush begin to form. He tried to say something - anything - but all that came out were mumbled words that didn't make any sense.

Eventually, Stan blinked a few times and straightened himself out. Being a couple inches taller than the other, Craig only came up to Stan's shoulders. He looked up into cobalt blue eyes and finally found it within himself to manage the word 'sorry'. Then awkwardly Craig stumbled out of the science room. Still clutching the strap of his messenger bag, the sixth grader shuffled throughout the school hallways to his next class which, luckily, he didn't share with Stan.

* * *

He went home with Kenny McCormick right on his trails. The blonde yapped in his ear about the upcoming swim meet that weekend and Craig could only roll his deep, brown eyes at the mention. The noirette never liked attending school functions mainly because he wasn't one for overly large crowds.

When reaching the Tucker residence, Craig very easily walked through the front door dropping his school bag on top of the shoe rug. The 'thump' from the bag echoed throughout the hollow hallway of the front entrance. From the opening to the living room off to the left, Craig's mother, Laura Tucker, appeared and frowned at the sight of the blonde standing behind her son.

"Christy, who's this?"

Craig cringed at the use of his birth name. No matter how many times he begged his parents, they still refused to call him by his chosen name. It got to the point Craig finally gave up, accepting his fate and feeling a little more discouraged each time he heard the name 'Christy' or 'Christina'.

"Kenny." He muttered. "He's just a friend from school."

"Wasn't aware you had other friends besides that Donovan kid."

"Neither was I."

And with that, Craig grabbed Kenny's hand then made his way through the living room guiding the blonde to his bedroom which resided just outside the living space. Once the two were inside, Craig shut the door with a little more force than intended then he opened the curtains to let light within the small bedroom.

The interior throughout was very simple. Navy blue curtains and a matching comforter. The walls were a basic white, untouched by any colour paint, and no posters nor pictures covered them. What did catch Kenny's attention though were the glow in the dark stars spread about the ceiling. They actually added character to the room.

"You like space?" He asked while kicking of his converse, placing them beside the bed.

"More than I like you."

The blonde laughed then collapsed on his back on the full size mattress. "Aw c'mon, I ain't that bad."

Very cautiously, Craig eyed the boy sprawled across his navy bedspread. Kenny definitely had a charm to him and he wasn't too bad to look at. His most attractive feature were no doubt his baby blue eyes. Craig always had a thing for people with orbs that resembled the sky or ocean, mainly because he was stuck with deep, brown ones given by his dead-beat father. He noticed acne beginning to surface on Kenny's cheeks and a few on the left side of his face but it didn't take away from his attractiveness - that was something that could easily be overlooked.

The longer Craig stared at him, the quicker the awkward tension rose in the room and he decided to finally dart his eyes to the side focusing on the wooden nightstand to the left. As casually as he could muster, the noirette crossed his arms over his chest, and continued to stare at the wooden piece of furniture.

"You're so weird, Tucker. Sit down so you aren't standing in the middle of your own room."

Looking back over to the blonde, Craig bit his lip. "Ah - I need to change real fast. I usually do it when I come home from school." He began to make his way to the closet on the other side of the room. "I'm just gonna change in here..."

When Craig opened the door, the blonde behind him noticed as there was hardly any room for Craig to even fit inside. Not that the boy was big or anything, but the clothes took up most of the space for anyone to get in.

"You can change here if you want. We're both boys remember." The smile spread upon Kenny's features warmed Craig's heart and he weakly returned the favour.

"... I need to take my bra off though..." The boy in the sweater whispered softly.

"I won't look." Kenny held up two fingers. "Scouts honor."

"You're weren't even in boy scouts."

"So?"

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Craig threw his arms to his side. "Fine. But I swear if you sneak a peek, I'm kicking your ass, McCormick."

"Deal."

There was a bit of hesitation before Craig turned back around, placing his hands on the bottom of his sweater, rubbing the fabric between his fingertips a couple of times. Then, taking a deep breath, the noirette quickly pulled the garment over his head and began to unclasp the sports bra wrapped around his torso. As he did so, Craig could feel his heart beat begin to race at a quicker pace as he started to place the galaxy print sweater back on. He felt a little more comfortable not wearing the sports bra anymore, Craig was small enough that he almost didn't need one, and because of how baggy his sweater was, it covered majority of his curves.

Turning back around to face Kenny once again, the middle schooler took notice of the blonde who decided to lay on his stomach with his head set in his crossed arms away from the direction Craig stood in. Instead of continuing to stand in the same spot he's been in since entering his room, Craig stepped his way over to his bed and carefully sat down next to Kenny by his feet. Feeling the motion of the bed move, the blonde raised his head and slightly brought himself up, to look towards the other.

"That was quick."

"Did you assume it would take a long time?"

Kenny smiled then sat up all the way, crossing his legs. "No, not really."

Craig glanced around his room, taking in the motif he's had for so many years now. He didn't have friends come over most of the time, and whenever someone did, it was usually Clyde. The noirette definitely wasn't very close to Kenny, he hardly knew a thing about him, but for some reason he agreed to let the kid follow him home – and he even changed in front of him, which Craig never did around Clyde.

"You hungry? I'm sure I could find something in the kitchen to make for us."

Kenny shrugged. "Whatever. I'm always down for free food."

* * *

Sunday afternoon and Craig was walking downtown with Clyde beside him, an arm wrapped around Craig's lower back, with the noirette a little uneasy by the action. They had just left the movie theatre – some comedy Clyde was so fixated on seeing – and were now on their way back to Clyde's house.

Craig focused his attention on the crunching of the snow underneath his boots, even glanced back at one point to see the footprints he left in the snow. The longer the pair walked with Clyde's arm wrapped around Craig, the longer Craig grew uncomfortable, and eventually, he stepped to the side slightly then smiled up to the brunette to show things were still all right.

"You missed a good swim meet yesterday. I mean, when Marsh came up to the edge of the pool and was getting into position, suddenly, like, he froze. And then he just started falling towards the water like a board or something. I think there's something definitely going on with him."

"He's been falling asleep a lot in class lately."

"Yeah, I noticed that too." He nodded slowly. "And thankfully, none of this shit was happening while football season was still a thing, because I'm pretty sure coach wouldn't have any of that."

Instead of replying, Craig began to count the steps he took, readjusting his hat as he did so. Even during the weekends, the sixth grader still wore his usual blue chullo. He didn't like walking around in public with the possibility of people mistaking him for his given gender all because of his hair style.

In the corner of his eye, Craig noticed his friend glancing at him, then watched as he opened his mouth to speak. "You should wear that thing less often. I like looking at your hair every once in a while."

"You do look at my hair." He combed his first two fingers through the fringe that showed through his hat. "See?"

Light brown eyes rolled to the side, and Clyde sighed. "I meant, like, the rest of your hair. That shit is hella long."

"Hence my reasoning for hiding it under my hat. I don't like showing off the length."

"Why don't you just cut it then?"

Craig choked out a laugh. "My mom won't let me. Ever since coming out to her, she keeps trying to push me to appear more feminine, but you see how well that's going."

By this time, the Donovan residence was coming into view, and Craig felt himself beginning to pick up his pace. Even after living in South Park for practically his whole life thus far, the cold still seemed to be something the twelve year old couldn't get used to.

From behind him, he heard Clyde call out to him, "I don't get why you want to look so boyish anyways."

The statement made Craig stop in his tracks, and he slowly turned around. "What?"

"I just can't wrap my mind around why you're so set on looking like a boy. You're obviously a girl… you've got the boobs to prove it."

Unable to contain himself, Craig marched back to where Clyde was just a few feet behind him. Already, anger was rising within him. "Are you fucking serious? Do you not know me at all?"

"Of course I do. We've been friends for years."

"Apparently, Clyde, you don't because what you just said was discrimination towards how I feel and who I am. You're fucking unbelievable. I'm going home."

His house was only a few down on the same street, and Craig turned around for the last time, beginning to run towards his home. Running up to the front door, the pre-teen shuffled the doorknob, silently muttering about how he was glad it wasn't locked, then entered the house to be welcomed by warm heat and slowly slid down a nearby wall in the hallway with his hands covering his face.

* * *

They all laid on Kenny's dirty floor to his bedroom, with the blonde holding Craig's hand in his own, Craig's lower legs spread across Stan's stomach area, and Bebe Stevens off in her own section of the room away from the three boys. Late at night, Craig received the call from the McCormick boy asking – or rather demanding – him to come hang out with the three of them. The noirette wasn't too keen on Bebe. She made a point not to socialize with Craig, and several times whenever he walked into the girls' restroom and she happened to be in there as well, she would whisper to her friends surrounding her and look back to Craig in the mirrors on the wall. When Kenny announced Stan Marsh would be there as well, a small tinge of dread hit the bottom of the twelve year olds stomach and he contemplated denying the request. They both seemed friendly towards him when he entered Kenny's bedroom though, but Craig figured they only seemed that way so the blonde wouldn't bitch at them.

At this point no one really spoke, they all grew accustomed to the silence and the smoke of a burning incense wavering throughout the air. Craig felt Kenny begin to shuffle around, and when he opened his eyes to notice Kenny slightly closer to him than before, lying on his side, the noirette let out a small gasp from the suddenly revelation.

"Jesus. I didn't mean to scare you."

He switched positions so that he was now sitting – still holding onto Kenny's hand – and sighed running his free hand through the fringe of his hair. Something felt off, almost as though something was missing, but Craig couldn't think of a thing. So instead he stared down at the blonde next to him, and ran the pad of his thumb over the top of the other's hand.

"Exactly how long is your hair Craig?"

The question came from Stan, who was staring at him from where he laid on the floor. His voice echoed softly against the bare walls surrounding them.

Quickly a hand went to touch the top of his head where his blue chullo normally sat, only to find it was no longer placed in its usual spot. The hairpins to hold the locks of hair were beginning to fall out, and his bun was located much lower than it should be, closer to the nape of his neck.

"Yeah." Bebe called out. "I didn't know it was that long, you keep it hidden under that atrocious hat all the time."

"…It reaches my mid-back, I think. I don't keep it down enough to know for sure."

Kenny sat up himself next to Craig, with an attractive smirk plastered upon his features. "Can you take it down?"

There was that same feeling of uneasiness like when Clyde began to talk about his hair a few days ago. Craig definitely didn't want another day of receiving shit from his peers. So he shook his head with his brown eyes focused on an ugly stain on the carpet. "I don't think so."

"Why not?" Bebe asked.

"I'm not comfortable with it…"

Breath blew out past Kenny's lip and he rolled his eyes dramatically. "Then cut it."

"I can't"

"Bullshit."

"My mom won't let me."

"Bullshit!"

"You should be able to do whatever you want with your hair. Don't you wanna look like a boy anyways?" This time Stan spoke.

"Craig is already a boy, Stan."

Kenny started to get up from the floor, casually walking over to a small nightstand next to a mattress without a frame and box springs. Opening a draw, he rummaged around in the contents it held, turning back to Craig who was now gnawing on his bottom lip. In his hand, the blonde held up a pair of scissors with a black handle and the metal appearing dull and pretty much rusting.

"Let's cut it now."

Standing up himself, Craig stumbled over to the boy holding the scissors, attempting to grab the item. "Are you insane?"

"I agree with Kenny. Just go for it, Christy."

The room froze when Bebe mentioned Craig's birth name, the latter even stopped breathing for a moment. There were still moments when kids at school still associated Craig as Christy… or more like a rather large portion of them. Just like with his mother, he was used to it, even though listening to them say it felt terrible.

Stan coughed lightly, sitting up and hugging his knees to his chest. He was still staring at Craig. Those cobalt orbs piercing through the noirette standing next to the blonde, trying to remember how to breathe again. It was almost like the instance they shared in their Basic Science class when the messenger bag slammed into Stan and pushed him into his desk.

"C'mon." Kenny raised the scissors to a lock that escaped from the various hairpins throughout Craig's hair. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

* * *

Craig wasn't fine, not one bit. Because the blonde had cut his hair too choppy, and there were several pieces that stuck out to the side of his head. The strands around his ears curled behind them, and the back reached a little bit above the end of his neck. Hair was everywhere. On the floor, on his clothes, and maybe even in the back of Craig's throat from when Stan made him laugh and he sucked in a piece that was in the middle of falling to the ground. If anything, at least Craig's fringe still looked good. He would probably still wear his hat to hide the creation Kenny decided to do.

"I'd have to say I did a damned good job."

Brown eyes met bright blue in the mirror that two stood before. Craig took notice of the frown formation his mouth made and how Kenny smiled back to the other. Something within the boy with the freshly cut hair made him turn around so he could look at Kenny better. Craig became lost in the hues of the blonde's eyes… he felt like he was swimming within an ocean of emotions and they only grew worse when Craig leaned closer to Kenny, planting his lips on the other's.

The kiss was as simple as it got for sixth graders, no tongue involved – except for the small amount when Kenny ran his over Craig's bottom lip – and overall it only lasted a matter of seconds. By the time, Craig pulled away, he could tell there was a harsh blush covering the rounds of cheeks, and he couldn't find himself to look directly at the blonde afterwards. Kenny let out a laugh, cocking his head to the side then he reached forward to ruffle Craig's shortened locks.

It was soft to the touch, like a pillow of fluffed up cotton, and the longer Kenny worked his fingers throughout Craig's hair, eventually the latter leaned into Kenny opening his mouth a bit to let out a moan that resembled a kitten's yawn. They continued to stand in the bathroom with other two sixth graders still residing in the bedroom, and nothing was making them stop what they were doing to worry about Stan and Bebe. Craig clung onto the front of the jacket wrapped around the blonde's torso, pressing his body just a bit closer than before.

"Jesus, Craig." Kenny muttered into the noirette's ear.

By this time, he was digging his fingernails into the smaller boy's scalp, causing Craig to moan louder. A small silver of saliva slipped out from his lips, and that's when he jumped back, shock showing in his deep brown eyes.

Laughter quickly filled the space. Craig shoved Kenny in the shoulder where he felt the wetness from his saliva as he did so, then crossed his arms, looking displeased.

The blonde clutched his sides, then announced. "That was cute."

"Shut the fuck up, McCormick."

Opening the bathroom door, Craig left and trekked back to Kenny bedroom, where Stan and Bebe still resided.

* * *

Craig shared his physical education period with no one he really associated with, and that's when he'd gravitate towards Tweek Tweak who sat behind the bleachers in the gym. The first time Craig ventured back there and came across the platinum blonde playing an outdated Gameboy Color, he sat down beside him and casually peeked over the blonde's shoulder to watch him play. That's how the two spent majority of their 4th period, but occasionally, Craig would bring his phone to class to set down beside his thighs blasting whatever music he decided to play for the day.

This time it just so happened to be his EDM playlist, in which Tweek stated in a quiet manor he was a fan of Daft Punk and then Craig made a point to play the few songs he had of them.

As Tweek mashed buttons in attempt to defeat the 5th gym leader of his Pokémon game, Craig watched from behind. He didn't know much about the game, but he was aware Tweek only had two pokémon left in his party that haven't fainted yet. The noirette took notice on how the blonde gnawed on his thumb nail while trying to contemplate on how to win.

Without taking his eyes off the small screen, Tweek asked, "Who cut your hair?"

For some reason, P.E. was one class the teacher forbid Craig to wear his chullo – or any other student for that matter – which meant he had to endure being in public with his hair actually showing, and this being the one period other students took notice of the terrible cut Kenny did to Craig's head.

"Kenny."

A smile spread across Tweek's face. "You actually let him?"

Letting out a short laugh, Craig ran his hand through his fringe. "Is it really that bad?"

"You want me to be honest?"

"Possibly?"

Actually taking his eyes off the Gameboy to look the noirette dead-on, Tweek's smile grew larger. "Yes."

* * *

After school, Craig took the bus because he decided to go home with Kenny for once. As he stepped on the yellow transportation, he immediately noticed Stan Marsh sitting in the same seat as Kyle Broflovski. Already, the raven haired boy was passed out, leaning on Kyle's shoulder. Craig continued to walk down the bus aisle only to groan when he saw Kenny sitting right behind Stan and Kyle.

Sliding into the seat, Kenny scooted closer to the window, setting his backpack on the ground. From in front of them, Kyle turned around as carefully as he could without waking Stan up.

"What's Craig doing on the bus?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Soft hazel eyes met Craig's own brown, but Kyle didn't repeat his question towards him. Instead he quickly turned back around, muttering a 'whatever' as he did so. The moment the redhead got back into the position of facing the correct direction, Stan shot up, taking in a deep breath through his mouth, then groaning afterwards.

Craig leaned up to the back of their seat, speaking into Stan's ear. "What's been going on with you?"

Instead of having the jock answer his question, his friend interjected, glaring back at the noirette. "Fuck off, Christina."

Anger rose within Craig's chest, and he quickly stood up from his seat. "Don't fucking call me, Christina."

He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he turned around to Kenny in attempt to usher him to sit back down. Shrugging him off, Craig centered his attention back to Kyle.

"Why? You're not even a real boy."

Suddenly, Stan punched his friend in the shoulder, causing the redhead to curse loudly. "What the hell, dude."

"That was a low-blow, Kyle. And you know it."

"You don't even like her, why does it matter?"

Everything around Craig was spinning and before he knew it, Kenny was pushing him to sit down, keeping a good hold around him. It was easy to tell Craig was angry and if Kenny wasn't there to hold him back, who knows how the situation would have turned out. Breathing heavily, Craig tried to calm himself down, blocking whatever bullshit Kyle shot out to the raven haired boy beside him.

By the time the bus arrived at the McCormick house, Craig grabbed his messenger bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He held Kenny's had the whole time they walked down the aisle. Before stepping down the steps to exit the bus, Craig gave a side glance to the redhead who just so happened to be looking at him as well, and with the hand not attached to the blonde's, Craig flipped Kyle the bird mouthing the words 'Fuck off'.

Once they were off the bus, and Kenny was pulling the other towards his house, Craig couldn't help but still be a slight bit angry about the whole ordeal.

"Next time you want to hang out after school, let's just go to my house."

Nodding his head in agreement, Kenny stopped right before the front door, turning around to face Craig.

"I'm sorry, Craig."

A kiss was planted to his lips – this would be their second kiss the two shared – and suddenly Craig was shedding tears, unable to hold them back any longer. Pulling away, Kenny's expression radiated sympathy and he pushed a strand from the noirette's fringe out of his eyes.

"I'm so tired of the way people treat me, Kenny. You have no idea of the shit I have to deal with. I'm only twelve for Christ's sake."

Wiping away some of the tears that traveled further down Craig's cheeks, Kenny then kissed him one last time on the cheek, then began entering his house.

This wouldn't be Craig's first time being over at the McCormick's but each time he walked into the living space, it appeared different. Carol McCormick sat on the couch in the corner of the living room, with her feet propped up on the coffee table. Already she had a beer in hand, and beside sat Kenny's younger sister, Karen, who jumped up when she saw her brother walk in.

As Karen hugged her brother, Carol sat up further on the couch, squinting at Craig.

"Is that Laura Tucker's daughter?" She asked, a slight slur already present in her voice.

"Son." Kenny corrected.

"Nah, she's still a girl. Hasn't gotten a sex change yet, have ya'?"

Having not recovered from the recent bus event, Craig let out a loud sob, then started running towards Kenny's room in the back of the house. As he ran, he could hear his friend yelling at his mom, with Karen asking questions in between. Pushing open the door to the blonde's bedroom, Craig ran to his bed and flopped down on the hard mattress, pressing his face harshly into the dirty black comforter.

Not too longer afterwards, footsteps were heard entering the bedroom, and the door slammed shut. "Damn it, Craig." The bed slumped downwards from the extra weight of Kenny sitting down next to Craig, and the latter rolled over to make more room on the mattress. He was embarrassed overall, not being one to show weakness, but if it were anyone else, Craig was almost glad it was Kenny he was crying in front of. The blonde seemed to be the only who truly understood Craig and the two weren't even that close in Craig's eyes.

Rolling over so he laid on his back instead of his stomach, Craig glanced towards Kenny who sat on the edge of the bed with majority of his back to the boy laying down. Craig imagined sitting up, crawling across the mattress to the other and wrapping his arms around the blonde. He would lean in as close as he could, pressing his body into Kenny's back, taking in the smell of his hair that would rub against his nose. But Craig didn't do any of that. Instead he continued to lay on his back, focusing his attention of the ceiling, listening to the silence surround the two boys.

* * *

Even with it being the end of May and finally summer vacation for those in school, some areas of the town still had traces of snow sprinkled about. Majority of it turned to puddles which resided in the front lawns of residents, the parking lots were what held the larger quantity of the snow.

Clyde Donovan's front lawn was one of the many with large murky puddles scattered throughout the soggy grass. He and Craig sat on the cement block placed before the front door of the Donovan house, Craig with his arms wrapped around his knees and slightly breathing out of his mouth. Clyde still wore his stupid letterman jacket even though school was no longer in session. The brunette was fishing around in his pocket blatantly searching for something and Craig tried to not pay too much attention to his friend.

"You know, you look really dumb in that jacket."

Clyde stopped messing with his pocket and looked up to Craig. "Chicks dig it."

Letting out a huff of breath, the noirette shook his head to disagree. "Bullshit."

Ignoring the profanity, Clyde continued on, "That's not what Bebe Stevens thinks."

"Who cares what Bebe Stevens thinks?"

"I do."

Craig unwrapped his arms from his knees to adjust his chullo further over his ears. "Why? You like her?"

Narrowing his eyebrows, Clyde scuffed. "No, it's just Bebe Stevens is, like, the most popular girl at school and her opinion kind of matters."

Craig took a moment to think about the curly blonde in the same grade as them, and all he could really surface was the night they were both at Kenny's house and she used Craig's birth name in front of everyone.

"I could care less what she thinks."

"You're the only one who thinks that then."

Craig rolled his eyes towards his friend. "I bet Kenny would agree with me…" He muttered.

"Kenny McCormick? I doubt it, they've kissed before."

Looking back at all the kisses he's shared with Kenny, he didn't think it was that big of a deal Bebe had done the same. So he stated to Clyde that it didn't mean a thing. Besides Craig was pretty sure, he was a hell of a lot closer to Kenny than Bebe was.

Casually the brunette in the letterman jacket went back to looking for whatever was in his pocket. "Just face it, Craig." He stated. "You're jealous."

"Jealous?! Of what?" He was now standing up before Clyde with his arms crossed over his chest in attempt to cover the curves his sweater didn't hide.

"Bebe Stevens."

Anger quickly rose within Craig's chest. His friend knew better than to assume he was actually jealous of the curly blonde and all together, the conversation pissed Craig off.

"Ugh, this is ridiculous, Clyde. You're ridiculous. I'm going home."

Turning around, Craig started off in the direction of his home only to be stopped a few steps in by a hand on his shoulder refusing to let him go any further.

"You keep running away from me every time we have a conversation, Craig."

"I'd say they're more like arguments."

"Whatever the fuck they are." He forced Craig to face him, staring him right in the brown of his eyes, "I'm tired of it. What the hell is your problem?"

Craig pushed Clyde's hand off his shoulder and took a step backwards. "What my problem is? Clyde, you've been a total fucking douche towards me lately."

"You're just taking it the wrong way."

Running a hand through his fringe, Craig sighed in a frustrated fashion, trying to keep his composure collected. "Whatever. Can I just go home, Donovan?"

At the mention of his last name, Clyde frowned and began to rummage through his letterman pocket once more. Within seconds, he was pulling out a silver chain with a red gem attached, pushing it towards the noirette. "Here."

Craig continued to stare at the piece of jewelry in the other's hand, unable to completely process it all. "What's that?"

Clyde looked down at his hand as well. "Garnet. Your birthstone. I even looked it up online to make sure I got the right one." Taking a step towards the boy in the blue chullo, Clyde the gem up even further. "Turn around. Lemme put it on you."

Furrowing his eyebrows, Craig didn't move an inch. "…why?"

"Dammit, Craig." Another step forward and Clyde was closer to Craig than he would have liked. He crossed his arms over his chest and before he knew it was coming, the brunette lightly kissed his lips. Holding the kiss, Clyde wrapped his arms around Craig's neck, starting to hook the necklace together. By the time he pulled away, Craig brought a hand to his lips, running an index finger over them, then he glanced down examine the necklace closer.

The piece of garnet shined against the light the sun provided and rested closer to his breasts than Craig liked. Frowning, he looked back up to Clyde then lightly shook his head. "I should – I should go home now."

And with that, the noirette turned away and started to run towards his house, careful not to run through a puddle on the sidewalk on his way there.

* * *

Craig hardly saw anyone from school during summer break. In fact, the only person he really saw was Kenny and they only hung out around two or three times. He was spending most of his break in his room, keeping any sort of communication from his family as well. Occasionally, his younger sister Ruby would come knocking on his bedroom door but that was about it.

On a day in the middle of July, Craig laid on his back on his bed with a small throw blanket over his figure. The ceiling fan twirled around in the air, and that's what Craig focused all of his attention on for several hours. By the time he started to drift to sleep, a knocked sounded on his door, followed by the door opening and Ruby stepping into her brother's room.

Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled back into a rather short ponytail, and she wore a lavender tank top paired with khaki shorts. Craig took note of her black knee high socks and he couldn't help but smile. His sister looked cute, there was no denying that.

Ruby closed the door behind her than started to walk towards her brother, sitting down next him on his bed. Her eyes automatically went to the piece of jewelry wrapped around his neck.

"Isn't that something a girl would wear?" She asked.

Craig sat up himself, letting his blanket fall into his lap. He didn't feel completely comfortable wearing a black wife beater without a bra underneath, but then again, Craig wasn't expecting Ruby to come bother him that day. He glanced down to the garnet necklace himself, going to hold it between his fingers and run the pad of his thumb over the gem.

"Probably. It's from Clyde though."

Ruby cocked her head to the side. "Does he still see you as a girl then?"

The question took Craig by surprise and he dropped the gem, letting it hit his chest. "… I think so."

"Shouldn't that bother you?"

"It does."

"Have you told him?"

Craig shook his head to the side. "Sort of… not really."

Pushing her brother roughly in the chest, Ruby's voice grew louder. "Why not?"

"It's complicated, I guess."

She rolled her silver-blue eyes. "You're pathetic, Craig. Or should I call you Christy like most people do. Our cousin Red does."

Craig pushed Ruby right back, resulting in the girl stumbling back and almost falling off the mattress. "I don't give a shit what Rebecca does, you should respect me, Ruby."

"Several people don't. Including Clyde, and he's supposed to be your friend."

Craig grabbed the blanket laying in his lap, then crawled off his bed, walking over to his closet. Opening the door to the small space, the noirette pulled off his wife beater then grabbed an overlarge knitted sweater.

"You're gonna wear a sweater when it's warm outside?"

He turned back to the girl sitting on his bed, arms set on his hips. "What makes you think I'm going outside?"

"Why else would you put a heavy knit sweater on?"

"Maybe I'm cold."

"Yeah." Ruby's thin lips turned upwards in a large smile. "Whatever. Say, when is that McCormick boy gonna come over again? I like him."

"I'm not sure… I'm going out Ruby."

The strawberry blonde stood up and made her way to the door, with Craig right behind her. "I knew it." Then she stopped to look back at her brother, head tilted upwards to stare him right in the eyes.

"Are you gay, Craig?"

The question caught him off guard, and he let out a rather large cough, the rounds of his cheeks beginning to turn red. "W-what?!"

"Are you gay?" She repeated. "I saw you kissing Kenny in the kitchen last time he was over."

He thought about it for a moment. The fact that he's really only been attracted to guys, and even though Craig's sex was female, his gender was still male. So that must have made him gay. Whenever his lips touched Kenny's, it felt right, and Craig usually got a tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach. Since the end of the school year, they've kissed five more times, and by the last, Craig let his tongue press against Kenny's. He wasn't quite sure how to take it at first, but when he pulled away and looked right into the blonde's baby blue eyes, Craig couldn't help but smile rather largely at the moment.

"I guess so."

* * *

On the first day of seventh grade, Craig walked into his homeroom to find Stan Marsh sitting at a desk in the back of the room. His head was set on the wooden structure before him, cradled by his arms. The seat next to the jock was open and Craig found himself gravitating towards it. When he pulled the chair out and set his messenger bag beside him on the ground, Stan slowly brought his head up to glance at Craig. His cobalt blue eyes were half lidded, with dark shaded circles underneath. Craig cringed at the sight of Stan, all around, he didn't look his best.

"Go away, Tucker." He muttered, setting his head back down on the desk.

Craig ignored the demand, then peek downwards to his chest. Just a few weeks before school started back up, he purchased his first binder online. This was his first time actually wearing it, and there was a slight discomfort. But overall, Craig was happy with the results and the fact that even his girlish waistline and curves didn't show through his clothing. He looked back at Stan, reaching over to poke him in the cheek. The sudden touch made the boy jump up, and he furrowed his eyebrows at Craig, groaning loudly.

"Fuck off."

"How much sleep did you get last night?"

Deciding to sit up in his seat, Stan crossed his arms over his chest, covering the logo of the school mascot on the front of his shirt.

"I didn't sleep at all."

Craig widened his eyes at Stan. "Seriously? Have you gone to the doctor for that? Maybe it's insomnia… my mom has that."

Groaning once more, Stan pushed himself from his desk, standing up right afterwards. He grabbed the backpack that was to the side of his desk, then trekked around to go sit at the front of the room where nobody else resided.

Once he was at his new location, the jock turned around to look back at Craig and flipped him off. "I don't like you."

It struck Craig as odd the statement Stan made, and all he could think about was when they laid together in the same room at Kenny's house, and Stan watched him from a distance as Kenny cut away at Craig's hair.

* * *

Later in the day Craig found himself sitting at the same lunch table as Kenny and a few of his friends, all of which including Stan. He sat close to Kyle on the same bench, holding the redhead's hand under the table as though nobody else would notice. But Craig noticed and he thought it was strange because supposedly Stan was dating Wendy Testaburger.

Their relationship was even stranger than Stan and Kyle's. The couple had been dating on and off for years and that didn't make any sense to Craig because they were still young, and obviously something wasn't working if they kept breaking up.

Next to him, Kenny was blowing air lightly in Craig's ear and the noirette broke his attention from the two across of him to smile at Kenny and lightly shove him in the shoulder.

"What, McCormick?"

Kenny puckered up his lips and leaned closer to Craig. "Kiss me."

"Right now?"

Instead of answering, the blonde pressed his lips against Craig's. Muttering against the other's Kenny said, "Yeah right now." And Craig laughed while grabbing the blonde's bottom lip between his own. He could feel the others staring at them and eventually Craig pulled away, with a light blush to his cheeks and staring down towards his hands in his lap.

His relationship with Kenny was one the seventh grader didn't quite understand. On various occasions, the two were physical in the sense of showing emotions, and they had gotten to the point they were doing so outside of the contents of their homes, but Craig couldn't help think that's all it was. That they had gotten this far, but there was no furthering it, and this thought disappointed the noirette. He wasn't quite sure he really had feelings for the blonde or if what he was experiencing was a first type ordeal in which Craig was going in blind. But the longer he sat next to Kenny at the lunch table staring at his hands, the longer he thought about how he felt, and the whole thing was giving him a headache.

Across the table, Stan whispered into Kyle's ear in which the redhead covered his mouth in attempt to hide a laugh. Craig glanced over for a moment, catching Stan's eyes as he did so, only to dart his vision in another direction seconds later. He was tired of the shit he was battling with the raven haired boy, so in a nonchalant manner, Craig lifted a middle finger then got up from the lunch table only to run off in the direction of the restrooms.

* * *

If there was ever one thing that pissed Craig off more than Stan Marsh, it was the fact that he couldn't use the boys' restroom like he should have been able to. Instead, he was forced to use the opposite and when he dashed into the girls' to find his cousin, Red, and Bebe Stevens talking inside, he groaned and almost banged his head against the nearest wall.

Red looked in Craig's direction though the mirror she stood before and slightly waved, "Hey Christina."

Not even bothering to correct her, Craig waved back then walked into an empty stall.

As he stared down to the toilet, Craig imagined what it'd be like to be able to pee like a boy – how much easier it'd be – and he listened to Bebe talk to Red about how she had a huge crush on Clyde Donovan. Craig wanted to burst out laughing so bad he covered his mouth with his hands in attempt to hide it, then he noticed the necklace still hanging from his neck he received from Clyde. The garnet didn't shine the right way in the dim light of the bathroom, but the beauty from it still showed. Continuing to stare at it, he thought back to what his sister said to him during summer break about the piece of jewelry.

Uncovering his mouth, Craig brought the clasp of the necklace to the front so he could watch as he tried to unclasp it. After around three attempts, he finally got it and very carefully lifted the piece off his chest, re-clasping it back together. Kicking his foot up to hit the flush on the toilet, Craig then unlocked the stall and walked towards the two girls.

They paused when Craig approached them, but politely moved out of the way of the sink. As Bebe leaned against the bathroom wall, Craig held out a hand holding out the necklace towards the curly blonde.

"What's this?" She asked as he dropped it in her open palm.

"Garnet. It's from Clyde."

And with that, Craig left before Bebe could ask any more questions.

* * *

The Saturday after the first week of seventh grade, there was a knock at Craig's door around two in the afternoon and it didn't stop until someone finally decided to open the door. Craig's mother called for Craig who was sitting in the kitchen with his younger sister, drinking orange juice and listening to Ruby rant about one of her friends. Craig pushed the rest of his orange towards his sister, telling her she could have the rest. As he walked through the house to the front, he could hear a voice from outside and he couldn't help but let out a huge groan, running a hand through his hair which was in need of another haircut from Kenny.

Clyde stood on the other side of the door casually talking to Laura Tucker but when he noticed Craig he pushed past Laura's and pounced on the noirette, knocking him to the floor. Laura closed the door then stepped over the two boys to walk back to her bedroom in the back of the house.

"What the hell, Donovan?!" Craig yelled, trying to push the brunette off of him.

Clyde grabbed a handful of Craig's hair holding him down beneath him, then spit, "Why'd you give that necklace to Bebe, you prick?"

Grabbing Clyde by the collar of his letterman jacket - which he still insisted to wear – Craig violently shoved him to the side, then stood up as quick as he could before Clyde got the chance to tackle him again. "Because I don't deserve it, Clyde! Bebe does."

"What do you mean you don't deserve it? I like you Craig, not Bebe."

Running a hand through his fringe, Craig exaggerated a sigh, "You like me as girl, not a boy."

"Because you are a girl."

"No I'm not!" Craig yelled loudly. He kicked his leg towards the brunette that was still lying on the ground. "And you just can't seem to wrap your head around that, you're about as bad as anybody else. Clyde!"

Clyde slightly cringed when Craig tried to kick him but still didn't move from the floor. "You can't change the fact that you're female, Craig."

By the point, Craig was fuming and it took everything within him not to grab the nearest item he could and throw it at the brunette. "Get the fuck out of my house." He growled. "Get the fuck out, and don't fucking speak to me again, Donovan."

"Fuck you, Craig."

Collecting himself from the floor, Clyde brushing his pants off then started towards to the front door without giving another glance towards Craig. Before the door could shut behind him, Craig ran after Clyde, sticking his head outside. "Why don't you call me Christina while you're at it, since you can't accept me in the first place."

Slamming the door shut, Laura yelled from her bedroom to 'keep it down'. Craig covered his face with his hands then screamed as loud as he could resulting in getting bitched at again by his mother.

* * *

Craig was pissed off when he went to school that following week on Monday. Not even at anyone in particular, he was just mad in general. When Kenny walked up to him in second period, Craig grunted his way and shrugged him off when he tried to give him a hug.

"The fuck is your problem, Craig?"

And that's when the noirette broke down in tears in the middle of class, having to be ushered out of the room by the teacher to calm down. Without his knowledge, Kenny snuck out of the classroom right after Craig, grabbing his hand within his own and forcing him to go into the boy's restroom.

Craig didn't question why he was being lead in the boys' room, all he could think about was how he was going to stop crying and somehow make an excuse as to why he did so in class when kids began to ask him questions.

"What's going on?"

Craig clutched onto Kenny's t-shirt, leaning harshly into the blonde, setting his head on the other's shoulder, sobbing even harder than before.

"I can't do this, Kenny. I can't go on like this."

Finger traced Craig's spine in attempt to soothe him, following the vertebrae over and over until it tickled Craig's back. "Yes you can." Kenny softly whispered.

"No I can't. I swear, if I could just end my fucking life right now, I would do it. I'm so tired of everyone refusing to understand who I am. You're all I have Kenny, you're all I have and I don't know if that's enough."

It hurt the blonde to hear every word the other muttered to him against his shoulder, and he felt tears hit his own eyes. Wrapping his arms tighter around Craig, he kissed him hard on the cheek.

"Shut the fuck up, Craig. I don't care if I'm all you have, I'm all you deserve. Nobody else should fucking matter if they can't accept you for you. Fuck 'em, Craig. Fuck 'em."

Craig let out a loud sob, shutting his eyes tighter than before. Then he lifted his lips to Kenny's ear and whispered, "I'm sorry. Jesus Christ, I'm sorry Kenny. I have so many emotions going on right now, I don't know how to take it all."

He pulled back to look the blonde right in the blue of his eyes, which were just as full of tears as his were. Unable to help himself, Craig laughed biting his lip while he did so, then he leaned in to plant a soft kiss on Kenny which lasted longer than intended. But at the moment, that kiss meant more to Craig than anything else did. He was caught up in his emotions and after everything that had happened so far, he felt that he deserved it.


	2. Congratulations, I hate you

_**Bonus oneshot, featuring the first time Stan and Craig started to hang out before beginning to date.**_

* * *

Craig whimpered as Kenny continued to work his fingers through the noirette's shortened hair. They both sat in Kenny's bedroom on his beaten down mattress, with Craig in the blonde's lap, pants-less and wearing nothing but his neutral shaded binder. Smoke wavered around the two, coming off the blunt Craig held in the hand that wasn't wrapped around the other's neck. As Craig felt Kenny glide his nails against his scalp he let out a long moan, followed by leaning forward to sloppily kiss Kenny.

They haven't hung out in months. Ever since their break-up freshmen year, Craig treated Kenny more like a dealer than anything else, gving him the money for the marijuana he needed, quickly followed by Craig simply walking away not once noticing how hurt Kenny always looked.

It was the middle of November, the weather had been cooling down since September and with Kenny's bedroom being in the back of the house, for some reason it never got the same ventilation as the rest of the house. They could have been huddled up in blankets, fully clothed and doing just about the same thing but Craig insisted on sitting in Kenny's lap and it all went down from there. The moment Craig took a hit from the blunt, he exhaled loudly, beginning to crawl across the bed covers towards the blonde.

They're been at it for hours – within each other's arms and high as they could be – but eventually Craig whispered into Kenny's ear about wanting something new and that's when Kenny pulled out his shitty cell phone to invite someone over. During the entire phone call, a name wasn't mentioned and Craig couldn't hear who was on the other end, so when Kenny flipped his phone shut and smiled brightly at the noirette, he couldn't help but ask.

"You'll see." Kenny muttered, then went to kiss Craig, immediately sticking his tongue in his mouth.

Letting out a breathy sigh, Craig grabbed a rather large handful of blonde hair, not to pull it, but to just hold it in his clenched fist. He missed this part – being able to have someone he could be intimate with. Even though he'd never admit it to anyone but himself, Craig still had feelings for Kenny. He wished he could go back to how their relationship was before Craig cared more about getting high than his boyfriend. On some occasions, Craig contemplated on getting back together but then he knew it'd never be the same.

When Kenny's finger lightly traced the shape of Craig's left collarbone and moved to sit underneath the strap of his binder, Craig broke the kiss. Pulling back, he quickly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then focused on Kenny's eyes. They were still as blue as he remembered. The noirette shrugged his shoulder that Kenny still rested his hand on, but nothing happened.

Groaning, Craig lightly shoved Kenny forward. "Let go, McCormick."

The moment the blonde slipped his hand from out of the binder strap, he didn't pull away completely. Instead, he let that same hand travel down the hourglass figure Craig loathed, until it reached the bottom of the binder. Fingering the fabric, Kenny cocked his to the side, with a small smirk plastered upon his features. Sighing, Craig started to get out of the blonde's lap, swinging his legs to hang out of the mattress, then he leaned towards the nightstand where a pack of generic cigarettes laid.

He completely forgot somebody was supposed to come over by the time the bedroom door swung open and a boy with raven hair and cobalt eyes stood in the open space.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"Good to see you too, Tucker."

Kenny handed Craig a lighter, and he flicked it a couple times before it came a flame. Lighting the cigarette, Craig harshly sucked in the nicotine, then blew out the smoke towards the ceiling nonchalantly raising a middle finger to the boy still standing in the doorway. "Fuck off, Marsh."

Kenny leaned back on his bed, crossing his arms behind his head. "Did you bring what I asked?"

Stan finally shut the door behind him, stuck his hand in his coat pocket, and then walked over to the bed where the other two sat. He collapsed down next to Kenny rather than Craig. Pulling his hand back out of his pocket, Craig took notice of the orange pill bottle in hand.

Chocolate eyes glanced up to meet Stan's, "What's that?"

Pushing himself back up to a straighter sitting position, Kenny brought his lips to the noirette's ear to whisper just one word. "Adderall." Chills ran Craig's spine and he couldn't help but shiver as Kenny planted a soft kiss to the crook of his neck. "You said you wanted something new." The blonde muttered against Craig's skin.

Craig could tell Stan was uncomfortable, and he pushed Kenny off. He then shoved an open palm towards Stand. "Lemme see some of that."

* * *

They laid on Kenny's dirty and disgusting carpet – Stan on his stomach and Craig on his back – staring ahead at the ceiling covered in various posters of naked girls. It always disgusted Craig when he looked up and saw what was above them. But he remembers a time when he used to laugh at them back when they were in eighth grade.

Beside him, Stan turned his attention away from the ceiling to look at Craig. He watched as Stan's lips moved but he didn't hear a word, so Craig asked him to repeat himself… and he almost regretted the action.

"Have you ever thought about killing yourself?"

He didn't know how to respond, didn't know if he even _wanted_ to respond, because somewhere in the room, Kenny still resided and if his ex-boyfriend heard what Craig had to say, the outcome wouldn't be the best. But before Craig could even open his mouth to attempt to speak, Stan continued on.

"I've been thinking about it for a while now… I don't know why but something in the back of my mind keeps telling to just end everything, and on many occasions, I've definitely considered it."

It pained Craig to hear everything spill out of the other boy's mouth, and without registering what he was doing, he grabbed Stan's hand that laid beside his thigh and he squeezed it as hard as he could.

"I haven't really told anybody about this – I haven't even told Kyle for Christ's sake – so I have no idea why I'm telling you of all people. I don't even like you."

Craig closed his eyes, taking his hand back from Stan. The two were never really fond of each other, and Craig never had a clear reason as to why. He remembers trying to befriend Stan back in the sixth grade and also of the memory when Kenny chopped off all of his hair, and how he and Stan seemed perfectly fine with each other then. But after that, Stan only seemed to push Craig further away and after a while, Craig stopped trying.

He focused his attention on the high and the humming in the back of the room that sounded from Kenny. He was beginning to drift away like he always did when he started winding down but it came to shock when Craig suddenly felt lips on his own, they were chapped and radiated off a slight hint of alcohol. It definitely wasn't Kenny kissing him, and Craig sat up as quick as he could, violently pushing Stan away from him.

"What the fuck, Marsh?!"

In the background, a laugh erupted from Kenny, filling the entire room which was almost completely silent only moments ago.

Spitting on the carpet, Craig groaned then flopped back onto the ground reclosing his eyes. "Don't fucking do that again."

"Whatever. It's not like I even like you anyways. That was probably just due to the Adderall."

Craig didn't bother to say anything else after that, instead he enjoyed the last few moments of his high before passing out next to Stan, who eventually curled up to the sleeping noirette, kissing his cheek and falling asleep himself.


End file.
